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Poems, Quotes and Anecdotes

Humor Only Genealogists Can Appreciate

1.  My family coat of arms ties at the back . . . is that normal?
2.  My family tree is a few branches short!  Help appreciated.
3.  My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
4.  Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
5.  My hobby is genealogy, and I raise dust bunnies as pets.
6.  How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE??
7.  I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap.
8.  I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged.
9.  I'm searching for myself.  Have you seen me?
10. If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
11. Isn't genealogy fun?  The answer to one problem, leads to two more!
12. It's 1999.  Do you know where your Great-Great Grandparents are?
13. A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
14. A family tree can wither if nobody tends its roots.
15. A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.
16. After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
17. Am I the only person up my tree?  Seems like it.
18. Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts & a few bad apples.
19. Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
20. FLOOR:  The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
21. Gene-Allergy-It's a contagious disease, but I love it.
22. Genealogists are time un-ravelers.
23. Genealogy is like Hide & Seek: They Hide & I Seek!
24. Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
25. "Crazy" is a relative term in my family.
26. A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
27. I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.
28. I should have asked them BEFORE they died!
29. I think my ancestors had several "Bad heir" days
30. I'm always late.  My ancestors arrived on the JUNE flower
31. Only a genealogist regards a step backwards, as progress
32. Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality
33. Heredity:  Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
34. It's a poor family that hath neither a lady of the evening nor a thief.
35. Many a family tree needs trimming.
36. Shh! Be very, very quiet . . . I'm hunting forebears.
37. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
38. That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!
39. I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes
40. Genealogists live in the past lane
41. Genealogists do it generation after generation . . .
42. Cousins marrying cousins:  Very tangled roots!
43. Cousins marrying cousins:  A non-branching family tree
44. All right! Everybody out of the gene pool!
45. Do I hear the rattle of Chains?
46. Always willing to share my ignorance . . .
47. Documentation . . . The hardest part of genealogy
48. For a reply, send a self-abused, stomped elephant to . . .
49. Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
50. Genealogy-will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
51. That's the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards
52. I looked up my family tree . . . there were two dogs using it.
53. I researched my family tree . . . apparently I don't exist!